I Grew Up

I grew up afraid, not knowing, and wondering why it had to happen to me.

I grew up staring at the ceiling late at night, wondering when it would all end — if it would ever end.

I grew up dreading the next day, wanting time to freeze, wanting to stay alone, in my bubble, forever.

Safe.

Strong.

Alone.

But it was all fake. The strength. My alone sanctuary. I wasn’t safe. It all came back. Faster than I could handle. Faster than I knew what to do with. Faster than I could hide from.

I grew up pulling the blankets up over my head to shield me from the outside. But each day, they were pulled out from under my all over again.

Each day I had to choose to fight.
To grow up.
And so I did.
And so I continue to do.

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