Lonely

I feel alone even when I’m not alone

I feel terrible for others who don’t deserve to be terrible for

I feel left out when others are out there partying and drinking away their sorrows

I feel guilty because when you look at me, I see the shame in your eyes

I feel that when you look at me you see me for one thing and one thing only

To be used.

To toss aside

whether it be onto the street

or to the point of wanting to kill myself so bad that I cut

I wear long sleeved shirts to hide the marks

and the pain

to make everyone else feel better about themselves

but what about me?

You look at me waiting for a smile to brighten your day

but what about mine?

You look at me to tell me that your life is bad and want me to help

but how?

How can a person stand so much pain and yet still gain more of it?

It was once said that the happiest of people are the ones who are most likely to be the saddest.

How do you look at me?

Just from your sideways glance to the side looking the other way makes me realize how you do.

Making me feel lonely.

I feel lonely when you’re with me.

I feel lonely when you leave me

I feel lonely when I stare at the cuts that mark my body

I feel lonely

and yet….

I’m still here for you.

What do you think of that?

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